I don’t understand how people can’t comprehend the fact that prom just isn’t for everyone. It’s just not my scene and no matter how many times I try to tell that to people they just look at me really confused and say “but it’s prom? how can you not go to your prom?” Like wtf? I just told you it’s not my kind of style. 

Whatever. 

I hate how you still piss me off so much.

Like honestly I want to be there for you, and be supportive because I do actually care about you a lot and like, yeah. But honestly I hate being the only one trying. I hate how if I don’t text or call you then we don’t talk. I don’t know if you like knew this or not, but phones have this crazy ability to work both ways. 

and it just pisses me off when you complain about not having anyone there for you, or that no one cares about you, or how you’re so alone. Like honestly it just makes me feel like i was never important or enough for you. Wtf. You came back to me asking for help. you came to me. And now it’s like. I feel like you just kind of used me for a while then tossed me aside when you realized that I was actually kind of important and helpful. and honestly, I feel like you just do this to yourself. you purposely put yourself in a position where you constantly pity yourself, and just go on and on about how “the world sucks” and “no one actually cares about me” and “i just want to die already.” 

Get the fuck over yourself. Open your fucking eyes. There are plenty of people who actually do care about you. There are legitimately people out there who want to see you succeed and be happy in life. Just because they might not be the people that you want to care and love for you, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. 

Just because you had a bad relationship/break-up does not mean the world is ending. Okay, not every body in your life is going to like you etc. But its that way for everyone. You need to realize what/who is important and focus on that. 

Just because you don’t have the same kind of relationship with your friends as you once did doesn’t mean they hate you or anything. People just change. You change too. 

Ugh. I could go on for a while. Just open your eyes please?

I actually really like this break-up.

I mean neither one of us were ready to be in a relationship.

I’m just better off single. I’m too blocked off from my emotions to ever actually open up to someone like that, and I’m comfortable with that. Even if it lasted I would have never fully 100% have felt anything for him, it’s just how I protect myself. Not only that but even if it worked out now I wouldn’t adjust my plans in the future to make this work. I could never give up my dreams for someone else and I have too many plans to move around and stay from from this state that it would have just ended bad if this did work out. And as much as I hate to admit it, every time I thought about it I really couldn’t figure out why I was even with him. I mean, yeah I care about him and what not, but I can do that as his friend. I feel bad I even let this happen, and I say this not in a “I regret the decisions I made” but more in a “I should have acted more rationally” sort of way. I don’t know it’s hard to explain, but its not as harsh as its coming off to be.

And he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship at all.  He wasn’t over her in the least bit and he certainly isn’t in a position to just move on right away.

I guess all in all it was just a really rushed decision that neither one of actually thought it fully through. But we’ve realized this fact now and to tell you the truth, we’re better off as friends anyways.

Honestly I’m having a really hard time being in a “relationship” with someone who still hasn’t let go of their past. But I don’t want to be the girl who makes you “choose”. But at the same time I feel like I have to be. And I think I’m getting to the point where I want to say something but I don’t actually know what I want. I just think this “relationship” isn’t exactly healthy for either one of us. But I reeaaalllly don’t want to hurt you, and I definitely don’t want to lose you again. 

Ugh. This is just so fucking frustrating I just wish I knew what I wanted.

I’m not really sure how I feel about being in this relationship. Honestly it scares me more than anything that I’m stuck. Not that I don’t want to be with you, I do, I just have a hard time seeing it last. 

I think it’s mostly because I feel like a rebound almost? And like, I feel like you’re only with me because you don’t want to lose me out of your life. Which I get. But at the same time I wish I had just lied that day and stayed friends with you to show you that I don’t have to be with you to prove I’m not leaving. I haven’t left yet and considering what we’ve been through, that’s saying a lot. 

I’m just nervous that this isn’t going to work but you’re still going to hold onto it and not go out and find something new. Like I really don’t know how to explain it. 

I just wish I knew how to prove it to you that I’m here to stay. That I’m not leaving. But we don’t need to be in a relationship for it to be true. Because frankly, I really don’t think you should be in a relationship right now with the way you’re still holding on to the past.